Another night and another night with me pissed off and fed up and left feeling like a large lump of lard because, yep, you guessed it my hubby does not want to have sex! In fact even snogging is out of the question because it might lead to me wanting sex and that would be an awful, awful thing. In fact showing affection other than in a brotherly manner towards me might incite such deep passions leading to uncontrollable behaviour that that too must be banned.
Hummmm I am seriously fed up. I am pregnant but I am being made to feel like I have a serious skin condition and therefore need to be kept separate from any contact with living things.
Yesterday he was tired, today he is tired.
He has been working very hard in the house, decorating for 6 hours today, he is kind to me and I got breakfast in bed this morning but he has not made a pass at me in months - well since the bump started to show. We had a bath together at 7pm and he started with "I'm tired" I think it was to preempt me asking for sex.
We have now argued about it. He says I am being unreasonable and that there is nothing wrong and he is just tired. He says he loved me and fancies me, but his actions tell a different story. The problem is that he is always tired. I am not a fool. Things are going to get past the ‘kiss and make up’ stage. I can’t help feeling like he is using sex as a weapon. The trouble is I can’t play games.
I am hurt.
I am upset.
I am angry.
I wish I could cry.
2008-03-30 @ 23:16