Another night and another night with me pissed off and fed up and left feeling like a large lump of lard because, yep, you guessed it my hubby does not want to have sex! In fact even snogging is out of the question because it might lead to me wanting sex and that would be an awful, awful thing. In fact showing affection other than in a brotherly manner towards me might incite such deep passions leading to uncontrollable behaviour that that too must be banned.

Hummmm I am seriously fed up. I am pregnant but I am being made to feel like I have a serious skin condition and therefore need to be kept separate from any contact with living things.

Yesterday he was tired, today he is tired.

He has been working very hard in the house, decorating for 6 hours today, he is kind to me and I got breakfast in bed this morning but he has not made a pass at me in months - well since the bump started to show. We had a bath together at 7pm and he started with "I'm tired" I think it was to preempt me asking for sex.

We have now argued about it. He says I am being unreasonable and that there is nothing wrong and he is just tired. He says he loved me and fancies me, but his actions tell a different story. The problem is that he is always tired. I am not a fool. Things are going to get past the ‘kiss and make up’ stage. I can’t help feeling like he is using sex as a weapon. The trouble is I can’t play games.

I am hurt.

I am upset.

I am angry.

I wish I could cry.

Ok, quick poll, is it just my hubby or are all men like this?

I have noticed more and more than when you are pregnant men stop looking at you in a sexual way, l, not that I had loads of men lusting after me at all but I did get an occasional glance. Now when I ‘window shop’ I am barely acknowledged as being a member of the opposite sex, it is very strange.

Well another retirement do and another night of feeling crap and falling out. I did try talking to hubby about how I was feeling but he gets so defensive and always thinks that I am having a go at him. He totally refuses the idea of relationship counseling and says everything is ok and nothing is wrong and it is all in my head and I am trying to cause problems. He says that he is not trying to avoid sex and he still fancies me but he just has to… paint the room, go shopping, feeling tried, hurt neck, too busy, having a bath, no time etc etc etc……

Well went out last night and you can tell it went well because I am back on here!! He started flirting with the waitresses not loads and loads but enough to make me feel really shit as I sat there feeling fat and ugly (the waitress was very pretty and about 16) then I caught him looking at her as she walked by with that air of confidence that only pretty 16 year olds can have, it made me feel so jealous and mad. All night people were coming up to me (women of course) to tell me how fab I looked and how lovely my bump was and my hubby never once said you look great or anything and I had made a very big effort.

I told him it made me feel shit and he got in a right mood, said I was always having a go at him and that I always ruin our evenings out and that all our problems are caused by him and he can’t do anything right……. So I thought, well I am not sitting here in the corner not speaking to you, so I left him and went talking to other people, and ended up having a good night, much cheered up by having a right laugh with a male work colleague who had me in stitches. I went back to him later and said ‘do you want to go’ it was clear he didn’t but I didn’t want to stay – I was tired and it was 11:30 so we went. Things are ok(ish) now but what can I say to him?

Thanks for the lovely comments, they mean a lot to me.

xx

Last night was my fathers retirement do so my sisters were coming to my house to get ready and we were all going as a surprise for my dad. Things have been getting much better with my hubby so I was looking forward to the night. To say that I had an awful time is an understatement, it was shit, very shit. I can’t remember how it happened but hub and me started arguing, all about nothing as all our arguments always are and that was the night ruined.

He just sat in the corner playing with balloons ignoring me and singing along to the lyrics and I felt torn, should I leave him on his own and go and talk to members of the family or try to talk to him when his whole body language is telling me to fuck off. Well I tried to talk to him and we just ended up bickering even more, it just feels like since we got married (in August) things have not been the same between us, or is it since I got pregnant? Everyone is saying how great I look and I am blooming and I feel so miserable all the time, I am so fed up with trying to pretend that my life is great, newly married and baby on the way when things are breaking up. I just want to get my relationship back on track and I don’t know how to, I don’t know what to do to make things better. Since I became pregnant he has been less interested in sex even though hew swears that this is not the case but I think the bump puts him off, I understand that but I wish he would be honest as I am starting to feel like it is not the bump that he doesn’t not fancy but me.

What should I do? My parents are worried about me and dad and mum were giving me sympathetic looks all night and no doubt I will have to field off questions about things are and try to convince them that I am ok, what else can I do? He sat singing to lyrics and we didn’t talk, I came home and went straight to bed, he followed up later, switched the light on even though he knew I was in bed, he got into bed and said and did nothing. I ignored him and tried to calm the panicking feeling inside and finally I got to sleep. He is still in bed now and I fell half angry with him and half like I just want him to kiss and hug me and say sorry.

Hope you are all happy out in blog land.

xx